Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
