he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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