Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i think i have two assholes
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
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