whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
