i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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