U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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