What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
