it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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