i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.