so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.