it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.