3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.