Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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