he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
