I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
