It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
