even my farts smell like vagina
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize