he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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