i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize