She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
