She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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