Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
