my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
