i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
