What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
this just has baby written all over it
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
