Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
