im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
