North Korea, Best Korea!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Randomize
