He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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