$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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