i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize