I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
