Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
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Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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