Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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