She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
