he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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