i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
