hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize