i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
