Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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