i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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