I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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