Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
