I seem to have left my pride at pride
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
