On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
