So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Drunk is a universal language darling
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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