Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize