hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
