so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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