Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
a search helicopter?!
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
