I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
