there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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