That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize