i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Randomize