Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
