Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
